We were finished with our purchases at the pharmacy counter, walking back through the store to the front.  We noticed a young dad and his little daughter (about 3-4 years old) in the holiday aisle.  The adorable child, wearing bright pink sweater and matching slacks, was pointing to a big statue of Rudolf that she had spotted atop the display shelves.  Oh no, we both thought; he’s doomed and going to have to buy that for her.

The dad reached up for the Rudolf figure and brought it down onto the floor so that she could see it.  It was almost as tall as the little girl, likely one of those hollow plastic ornaments that adorn some yards in December.  She looked at it briefly and he started to put it back.

Then the child said sweetly, “A hug.”  I thought she wanted a hug from her dad.

Nope.  He patiently put the Rudolf figure back down on the floor.  The little girl toddled over and gave Rudolf a big hug.

The dad reached again for the figure, lifted it, and almost had it returned to its storage spot atop the shelves.

Then the child said sweetly, “A kiss.”  I thought she wanted a kiss from her dad.

Nope.  He gently lowered and put the Rudolf figure back down on the floor a third time.  The little girl leaned over, planting a big kiss on Rudolf’s nose.

Oh no, we thought.  Now he truly is going to be expected to buy that figure, having been claimed with hugs and kisses!

Nope.  Satisfied with her greetings for the reindeer, she was off to the other side of the aisle looking happily at trinkets.  We smiled.  That awesomely tender dad smiled.  And Rudolf went back to the top of the shelf to oversee other wistfully delightful holiday encounters.

Since then, the traps have been removed since we routinely saw only two near the house.  The wildlife specialist encouraged us to fully clean the gutter that they used for access to the roof.  This will enable us to readily observe any new paw prints, just in case there is a third buddy that slipped past our notice.

As it turns out, both of these raccoons frequenting our roof were younglings … likely just a year old.  So not yet old enough to be mating or reproducing.  We are thankful for that.

If you live in the far west suburbs and need assistance in this kind of conflict situation, we strongly recommend Steve Callahan of Callahan Wildlife Control.  A good-humored, patient individual who is exceedingly knowledgeable and helpful.

A quick summary of what I have learned to date

1. Raccoons are the number one pest in Illinois.  Conservative estimates indicate at least 70 raccoons per square mile.  DNR says that the numbers in the autumn, when babies have left the nest, may be closer to 98+ per square mile.
2. In the fall, they average 15 to 20 pounds in body weight.  So they are not quiet as they move about the roof.
3. There is no such thing as a municipal animal control guy who will come and deal with this.  However, it is against the law in Illinois for individual citizens to poison, shoot, or otherwise harm this protected mammal.  The only option is hiring a professional to trap and euthanize them (due to the overpopulation).  This requires a check of the trap and a reporting phonecall to the trapper every day.  I guess we’ll be charged $45 per visit if we need to travel overnight.  Endless fees, none of which are covered by standard homeowner insurance.
4. Most of these businesses say that they are on-call 24/7.  However, the only emergency that warrants coming to your house in the middle of the night is if the raccoon is physically inside your living space (e.g., having entered via a dog door).
5. The animal control people won’t go into your attic until after they have trapped all of the raccoons.  Shining lights in the eyes of these thieves makes them that much harder to catch.  They’re good at hiding and at burrowing into soffits where they are unseen.  So, until your raccoon nuisances are trapped, they are free to attack your attic, urinate and defecate there, tear up insulation and wiring, and so forth.
6. As if the thought of that property destruction isn’t bad enough, be advised that their excrement incubates parasites … worms, mites, and more.  They are definitely a health hazard for humans and our creature companions.
7. Until recently, the state of Illinois allowed capture and relocation.  So many of these raccoons ~ including the two that have been playing on our roof ~ are trap-shy.  After the first night a week ago when two-thirds of the food source was removed without springing the trap, we have since had no activity.  The food is untouched.  It could take another week … another month … a year … until they finally succumb.  And guess what they’re doing to our roof (and eventually our attic) in the meantime.

Ugh.  The good news is that I have fully recovered from my initial guilt about doing this!  These thieves are wreaking havoc on my sleep, our property, and our checkbook.

I confess that I’m feeling less and less guilt.  Yesterday I found a website with pictures of damage that raccoons had done … to attics and insulation, ceilings, roofs, even yards.  No more mister nice guy.

They may be intelligent with respect to short-term objectives such as finding food and shelter.  But they’re not particularly wise when it comes to their long-term choices.  There aren’t trees big enough anywhere in our neighborhood to shelter them.  However, there are plenty of sheds, including wooden structures.  There is even a vacant house in close proximity.  So not very smart to select a house with residents.

I wondered if maybe it is the absence of dog in our household that makes them bold.  Steve (the nuisance control guy) says it isn’t that.  They don’t give diddly-squat about dogs or even coyotes.  That’s why the “raccoon repellant” scent stuff doesn’t work.

I have read that they like to be around large plants for cover.  So I’m planning this weekend to do early dead-heading of the perennials in our yard.

Also, knowing that they are attracted to trash, we have urged our neighbors not to put anything into their trash containers until absolutely necessary.  We routinely take out our trash only on the night before collection.  I realized that we have stored our trash container and our recycling container side by side.  They could easily enough stand on the recycling container to get leverage for opening the lid of the trash container.  Now separated by six feet!

He did come late on day 5.  I guess he had put three items in the trap originally: one piece of McDonald’s hamburger (gone); one can with some smelly stuff in it (gone); and one stick with some sticky stuff on it (still there).  So technically, the trap was still baited.  Today he put a few other enticements in.

Chatting with Ron, he revealed that sometimes he leaves the trap unbaited.  After they get accustomed to finding food in it, sometimes they will go inside to see if they’ve missed something when it’s empty.  I guess that makes sense.

Steve also revealed that one particularly wise raccoon took him almost a year to finally trap.  Apparently, those who have previously been trapped and released elsewhere have quickly learned what NOT to do in relation to the trap’s spring.  Ron asked if he could rub peanut butter on the wires of the cage … or attach a string inside that contained something sticky.  Steve noted that they’ll just put their paws through the mesh and get to the food without actually going into the trap.  So it needs to be something big enough that requires entry.  I guess that makes sense too.

I am beginning to imagine this pair snickering as they come onto the roof.  “Oh goodness, they’re trying THAT?! How stupid do they think we are?!”

We will keep trying.  And I will keep praying that this nuisance situation is measured in days, not weeks.

I have a bad feeling about this.  I only hope that our raccoon watch is measured in days, not weeks.

On my lunch break, I did a little research.  It turns out that raccoons are among the most notorious of nuisances in the suburbs.  Very agile.  Very intelligent.  Very creative at finding sustenance and escaping capture.  Ugh.

I went to several websites that confirmed what Steve had told us: our options are limited in Illinois.  I also learned that raccoon feces/scat hosts and incubates myriad dangerous lifeforms, including worms.  That’s why Steve had urged us to pick up and safely discard the scat we found on the ground.  In addition, raccoon urine is especially strong smelling.  We definitely don’t want this in our attic.  Feeling a little less reluctant today about what we need to do.  The Dark Side of home-owning, nonetheless.

It was a long day at work.  So we were late getting to bed.  Late enough that I thought I heard the trap snap shut at about 10 p.m.  Another long night as I thought about what one raccoon might do if its mate is trapped.

And while awake, of course I was stewing about the fact that I’m an ecologist plotting to get rid of these two very intelligent, very playful creatures.

Steve, the nuisance-animal control guy, arrived mid-day.  He advised Ron that state law gives us three options:

1. Trap them and release them within 100 yards of the trap.  Not an option because they’ll just come back!
2. Trap them and take them to a vet for rehabilitation.  Not an option unless they’re both sick and coming only for that reason.  No evidence of illness.
3. Trap them and euthanize them.  Our only option.

Ugh, I really don’t want to face this.  I just want them to go away on their own.  But realistically, that’s just not likely to happen.

Steve found a bit of feces on the roof, enough that he suspects this was not their first visit.  He also found scat at the bottom of one of the downspouts.  And many muddy pawprints all over that downspout from bottom to top.  Now we know how they access the roof.  No evidence that they have successfully gained access to the attic, which is a huge relief.

So we paid him to set a trap.  I guess they only trap one animal at a time, with the trap bolted to the roof and bait at the back.  Ideally, one of them will poke its head and upper body into the trap to get those treats, then release the trap with its weight.

Since this is live trapping, we have to call him every morning to report whether an animal has been caught, whether the trap has been sprung (but no one caught), and whether the bait is intact.

Naively, I assumed we would catch the first raccoon on the first night.

Then, about 9:30, the rain stopped.  The occasional drip-like and sometimes scratching sounds coming from above the ceiling continued.  Just coincidentally, we were sitting in the family room at the time.  Ron was working on the computer; I was reading a book.  Relatively quiet activities.  Obviously not generating the kinds of sounds that caused us both to raise our heads.

Putting my book down, I hurried upstairs to the hallway.  One part of the hallway is right below the peak of the roof, where in the spring we often hear birds at a junction of the structure.  Definitely louder sounds here.

We grabbed our flashlights and headed outside into the dark.  Eventually, we found one set of eyes starring back at us from the peak of the roof.  Eyes outlined by the unmistakable “mask” of a raccoon face.

We went back into the house, called 9-1-1 to ask how to reach animal control, and were given the name and phone number of a local “nuisance animal” specialist.  I always assumed that such animals in the city would be controlled by a city official working for the animal control department.  Not so, at least not here.

Steve would come on Monday morning to investigate.  $85 to inspect the house.  $55 to trap and catch the first animal.  $45 for each additional animal.  No worries, I thought.  That will just be $140.

We went outside a second time, hoping to see that Roary Raccoon had left the roof.  Um, nope.  Turns out Roary was accompanied by Rosetta.  Two sets of eyes peering down at us.

A very restless night for us!

It was also the day I realized that even in the baby-steps approach, it was important to take a sabbath away from the even-modest disciplines.  And that’s what I did!

A rest day.